Welcome to Dick Simmons- Fat Destroyer 10,000

Our hero, fitness guru and homosexual extraordinaire-Dick Simmons, has been inlisted by the Pilly Ponka Candy company to take care of a group of rampaging fat women who have broken into the enormous Ponka candy warehouse and are eating their way through the massive candy storage silos. Dick, armed with his trusty liposuction gun: The Fat Destroyer 10,000, must dig his way through the mountains of candy, to suck the life fat from these horrific beasts! You must succeed or the world's candy supply will be destroyed and no one will need to buy your workout videos anymore!!!!

Enemies:

Porkrah Pinfrey- This mosterous beast, weighs in at a whopping 500 lbs. Yet she is so preoccupied with her weight that she can purge herself so that she becomes almost microscopic and then in a bizarre display of skill, can fly through solid objects, then fatten back up in seconds on the other side! Talk about a see-saw diet! Don't let her get too close or she'll eat you!

Jerry Kraigs- This tormented diet mogul has finally snapped and is leading this savage feeding frenzy. She's armed, not only with her mouth and her 400 pound body, but with frozen radioactive diet meals, which she can throw great distances with frigtening accuracy. Don't let her get too close or she'll eat you too!

Game Play:

Move Dick through the candy maze.
Suck the fat from the fatties!
Keep sucking the fatties until they implode.
Fat points are awarded in pounds for each suck you get.
You can use the huge cupcakes scattered around the candy silo to crush unsuspecting fatties.
Ponka's sterilizes their candy with radiation. If you're on the surface make sure your radiation meter doesn't go over 1000 or you'll die!
Levels are cleared when all the fatties are destroyed!
An Extra life is awarded every 5 tons(10,000 lbs.) worth of fatpoints.

Controls:

• Press F2 to start the game.
  
• Press Esc to quit.
• Move Dick using the arrow keys.
  
• Fire the Fat Destroyer 10,000 by pressing the space bar, tap the space bar repeatedly to suck out all the fat!
• You can push the giant cupcakes around horizontaly, to drop them on unsuspecting fatties!
• You can press the D key to slow down the game or press the U key to speed things up!

Note:

This game requires Microsoft Internet Explorer or Sun's Appletviewer. Netscape's current java implementation has a bug that prevents this from running properly. Sorry I didn't have time to write a work-around.
Disclaimer: Any similarities between persons in the game and in real life are purely intentional. With the sole purpose of portraying a realistic simulation of actual events that occured in the relatively recent past. Parent guidance is not advised...unless children have access to black trench coats and large numbers of semi-automatic weapons.